So you’ve decided you’re going to give the perfect gift of a Sarcasm Foundation T-shirt, congratulations! “But…” you may inquire politely, “How am I supposed to know what size t-shirt to get? I mean, my nephew Chauncey is now 6’2 at 11 years old!”  Fear not, you wonderful purchaser person, here’s some helpful tips!

• Go in for the hug. During the nice friendly bear hug, wrap your arm around their neck and snatch a glance at the tag in the shirt that fits them. Unless they’re shirtless, in which case enjoy!
• Use a visit. During a pleasant dinner at your target’s house, excuse yourself and take advantage of your bladder-time. Quietly rifling through a shirt drawer isn’t snooping, it’s more like research.
• Enlist a stranger. Whilst at the mall, find a jovial looking stand-in with a similar body-build as your intended shirt recipient. Be friendly, ask for an invite to dinner, feign a potty emergency during the second course and start opening drawers. Easy peasy.

We hope these pointers will make your gift purchasing a fulfilling experience!